I can not Love my Paternal Grandfather

I am so sorry I can not love him. You may all wonder what "him" refers to. It simply refers to my paternal grandfather. Whether you like it or not, you must all have close relatives with whom you are not on good terms. Looking back on my past days as an innocent child, I still vividly remember my mother giving my grandfather fifty dirhams every three months so that we could receive water through the taps. We had to do that as we had no other choice. As an innocent child, I condemned the act terribly, while my grandfather, a rich man, appreciated it so much. I am so sorry I can not love him. Islam has taught me to love all people whether they do me good or not. But it has not taught me to love people who have done me an injustice or who have treated me inhumanely. Frankly, I forgive my grandfather, but I am so sorry that I can not love him. I have tried to love him many times, but I failed. And I will no longer try to. Humanity inside me is merely what has made me give it a try. Anyway, he is so senile now. And when he passes away, I will attend his funeral. But I assure you that I will not be able to shed a tear. I am so sorry I can not love him. I am not going to mourn his death. Hatred engulfed my heart from all sides at the time. Since then, I have been unable to love someone like him because to sell water in that manner is deemed inhumane by everyone on earth. As a mere child, I would water the plants and give water to cats and dogs to drink, but I never asked for fifty dirhams, let alone when I would do that to human beings. I have no slightest idea whether fifty dirhams would have made of my grandfather a richer man. I am so sorry I can not love you my grandfather no matter how many times I try.