Dowry

Dowry as a step towards marriage is the issue some friends raised to me recently. In all sincerity, I have always held a certain attitude towards how much a dowry costs. That is, I simply consider it as a formality that is not worth all the fuss we make of it. Some rich suitors give it so much importance in that they are ready to give five millions. Others, especially those belonging to the middle class, give the bride around six thousand dirhams. Poor suitors, like me, can afford to give the bride one thousand dirhams or so. Whatever the amount of money one gives, it is married life that will matter in the long run. In fact, those suitors that I usually pity are the ones who give a dowry they can not afford. And no sooner does the wedding come to an end than this sort of men begin to make both ends meet. That is why frankness is always appreciated from the very start of any married life. If misery then crops up, at least, there will be no one to blame. The little dowry has made it clearer that what will follow must either be little or much. The ample dowry makes it clearer from the start that what will follow must always be much. Additionally, there is another problem which is that the bride's family usually appreciate the suitor who can afford the largest dowry. For instance, a poor suitor, like me, can't afford to marry the daughter of a businessman for the reason that the dowry I am able to give her is equal to the amount of money she spends when she goes shopping at the weekend. As for a girl who has despaired of marriage because of old age, a dowry no longer matters to her as much as getting married does. That is why I would appreciate it if a girl of beauty and wealth would not deem a dowry as necessary. If you find this sort of girl, it must mean that not giving much significance to the dowry can only be ascribed to its being a principle for her. In earnest, the poor should give a little dowry, and the rich should give a large dowry. Hearing of a poor man giving a large dowry is queer to me in that there will come a time when he will think back to the amount it costs and regret being showy.